Working for Yourself is not Always about Self Employment
A good friend of mine said to me ‘you look flat, is everything ok?’ I’d like to say it was a few years ago and tell a story of how I overcame the above mentioned ‘flat’ – but it was the other day.
It surprised me because I hadn’t even noticed. I sputtered an ‘oh, well…you know…I just…’ before I had to really think about what the problem actually was. I didn’t feel ‘bad’ just..well…flat.
The light at the end of the tunnel
My youngest (of three) went off to school this year. I had reached that light I had been focused on for so many years as a stay at home mom…trying not to lose myself in the process of motherhood. What I didn’t foresee was that when I finally reached the above mentioned light…it was brighter than I expected and I was temporarily paralysed…just like those darn deer.
The real issue
I was working for my kids, working for my husband, and working for my church. But as I considered getting to the bottom of the issue, the thing that finally dawned on me was that I was forgetting to work for me. Like when someone is looking after the kids unexpectedly and you – having been 5 seconds earlier, daydreaming about all the things you would do for yourself once you had a few spare moments – can’t remember one of them and you end up staring at a wall or wandering around aimlessly.
That made things worse momentarily as I had to figure out what it meant to work for myself. Watch TV? Read a book? Take a nap? But those aren’t really working. I had to figure out what ‘work’ was for me. Thankfully God gave me a little nudge in the right direction and reminded me that I’m a writer – and I hadn’t been doing much.
To ‘work’ for ones self
Now that I’ve got some space to myself, I needed that little nudge from my friend to remind me…of those million things I had on my mind, which one can I do for me. My answer was writing. Most of the writing I’ve done previous to this moment has been accompanied by ‘hey mum’ every five minute. Oh how precious it is to sit here, even now, with no interruptions…looking out onto the cane paddock (actually I’d be happy with a garbage dump – an uninterrupted garbage dump) it inflates my flatness.
So a piece of advice us mum’s already know, but might need a friendly little reminder…you feeling flat? What burns in your heart. It might be painting/writing/cooking/making, whatever makes you excited when you dream about success.
Good luck to you – whether you’re mom who’s been looking after x number of kids for x number of years and you have forgotten a little bit about who you are – or anyone who else who is feeling a bit flat and needs a little nudge. Take time to work for yourself.