My Journey to Overcoming Fear and Living a Bigger Life [Part 1]
I never would have dreamed up the life I am currently living (on the other side of the world), in fact, it probably would have made me sick to my stomach if someone had told me what my life would be like. My expectation growing up was that I would always live in my home town, never really traveling anywhere (unless it was with mom and dad).
It all started in second grade when I suddenly became too terrified to leave the house but didn’t know why. I can still vividly remember walking down the steps into the garage, when fear grabbed hold of me. No matter how hard I tried, I could not make myself walk out the door. So I did the only thing my eight year old brain could think of…I hid behind some boxes hoping mom wouldn’t notice. But of course my mom did notice because mom’s usually notice stuff like that.
The fear that gripped me that day wasn’t about to let go. And even though I made it back to school in a couple of days, I was often the girl that couldn’t stay at sleepovers (my anxiety outweighed my embarrassment). I was afraid of the world and I was quite happy to have nothing to do with it…sort of…
I remember sitting on the fort my dad built in our backyard gazing over the corn field and dreaming of an extraordinary life…but that was for other people – people who weren’t afraid to take risks, who lived for adventure – and I was definitly not one of those people, even though I wished I was. I resigned myself to a life of daydreaming, while living an ordinary reality.
This continued for the most part until I had to leave for college, although by that time I had gone on a two week holiday with my best friend to visit her sister (I began that trip apprehensively but was pleased and relieved that it went great). However, college was different. College meant months away from home. It was unknown territory, but off I went…and hey, as it turned out I did ok and I even began toying with the idea of spending a semester studying in Los Angeles.
But by the time I was in my third year at college, God found his own way to turn up the heat – to show me that fear was more afraid of me, than I was of it. Little did I know that the plan He had for my life looked nothing like the reality I had decided on…and the dreams of adventure that He had planted in a little girl many years before, were about to begin to be unveiled.
…You can read Part 2 here…